It's BRUTAL Out Here

In the world of ghosting, swiping right, and leaving comments on Hinge profiles, I must say it is brutal out here. As much as I love free drinks or dinner, the company I have chosen over the past few months has been nothing short of entertaining. One year ago today I was in what I had thought at the time was the happiest relationship I had ever been in, (even though there was not much to compare it to.) Now I am the happiest I have ever been with the ever-so loving company of me, myself and I, ( and Lucy.)

However, if you would have asked me where I would be in a year from now, last year, I would have probably told you I would have an apartment with my significant other, and hopefully a dog, working a 9-5 job. I have managed to live up to half of that by adopting a dog, getting broken up with, and starting my own LLC. I took a few months to sort myself out and revaluate what I wanted out of life, and after I had taken the time to heal, I eventually entered the trenches of online dating.

When I say trenches, I mean swiping left and right based solely on how someone perceives themselves in about ten photos, about five seconds of personal statements, and potentially a theme song. I have been on roughly ten dates within the last 6 months of my life and about two of them are worth remembering. The dates I have been on have ranged from receiving a cherry bomb at French Quarter or them showing up an hour late to buy me a $10 drink to having a nice dinner and drinks and being dropped off at home and walked to the door. While I have not completely given up on falling in love again, I have become at peace with being alone and entertaining myself. There is a great comfort about going to bed not worrying about a man ruining your inner peace by getting a little too drunk with his friends and being a little too friendly with a cocktail waitress. (Please understand this reference)

Some tips and tricks I have learned with dating/red flags to watch for that I am willing to share to the masses:

• Watch how much he loves his mother

• Calls his ex "Crazy"

• Thinks buying you dinner should allow him to be invited over

• Thinks being tall is a personality trait

• Considers owning a truck a redeemable quality

• Men with lion tattoos

• Men with attachment issues

• Someone who owns a "Saturdays are for the Boys" flag

• Men with beer boxes cut out on their wall

• Men who ask for your snapchat instead of your number